Bill Blockhead

Statement to voters

5 point plan The Blockhead 2024 Election campaign ALL YOUR BAD DAYS WILL END #Mogg-OFF Calling on Rees-Mogg to leave my neighbouring constituency forthwith #Bill-IN Grow the Blockhead economy #Tories-OUT Hasten the end of the Tory party #NESomerset-GONE BANES to become an independent kingdom, with long-term aim of SSE (Solar System Exit) #Ned-ON Waiting in the wings, a new King for Bath and NE Somerset The ManiPesto 1. SPACE - Bath and North East Somerset to become an independent kingdom, leaving solar system by 2028. - Banes twinned with Uranus. 2. ECONOMY - Bath the new centre of UK lemon production - Tax premiership footballers for diving - Tax personalised number plates 3. TAKE BACK CONTROL - stately homes under state control - Stately home lands for building affordable homes with lemon tree plots 4. MONARCHY - modernise slimmed down regional royalty… - Installing King Ned as the new king of Bath (BANES) 5. Appoint a minister of common nonsense - BETTY BLOCKHEAD 6. ENVIRONMENT - 2 wheels good, 4 wheels bad - sliding excellent 7. HEALTH & NHS - FREE NHS GLASSES… lemon-yellow-rimmed sunglasses for all citizens - More lemon, hot lemon, free lemsips 8. EDUCATION - Fruit picking techniques to replace PE on National Curriculum - Close all private schools and turn half into mega clubs and the rest into accommodation for the homeless 9. TRANSPORT - PARK ‘N’ SLIDE - into town on giant lemon coloured slides (thus avoiding potholes) 10. FRONT DOOR POLICY - compulsory colour for all front doors in Bath - Bill’s Curd Yellow 11. HAPPINESS Free Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran concerts. FREE ALCOHOL… Uranus-originated cocktails (The Herschel Georgium Sidus Uranus) 12. SPIRITUALITY AND RELIGION Increase understanding of the 5 Bearded Fruits… dissemination of knowledge through daily readings from the Book of Common Fruit, the word of Bod.

Election history

Westminster general elections